Why I Dont Go to Disneyland

I refuse to go to Disneyland. For some people Disneyland might be the “Happiest Place on Earth,” but for me it is just a huge waste of (lots of) money, but it’s also a waste of time, but even worse than your ordinary, run-of-the-mill waste of time.  An ordinary waste of time for me is sitting around and doing nothing. Like waiting at the doctor’s office without a book, or spending hours looking for the car keys or the “other” shoe. At Disneyland you do have to be prepared to wait googleplex hours on lines for the privilege of seeing fake ghosts in a “Haunted Castle” or going on a “Safari” and hearing the “jungle guide” make the worst possible puns and jokes. Merely waiting on line is not a problem for me. I can always bring a book, or talk to my children and/or husband. What I truly can’t stand is seeing the verbal child abuse practiced by the other parents on their children waiting on-line with me and my family. It’s about all I can do to stop myself from telling the Dad standing behind me, “Of course your kid wants to go home. Waiting on line is BORING! Just because you spent half a year’s salary to give your kids the vacation of a lifetime doesn’t mean they have to like it! Next time go bowling, they’ll have more fun.” Instead I squirm in my shoes listening to the parents say stupid things like, “What do you mean you want to go home? Do you know how much this trip cost? Your BETTER HAVE FUN! If you don’t start having fun right now I am going to smack you!” And how about this one. “I don’t understand why you aren’t having a great time. When Daddy and I came here on our honeymoon we had the best time!” OMG! All I can say is, Disneyland definitely does not bring out the best in people, and I feel no remorse in avoiding the place at all costs. Even if it means taking my kids bowling on our vacation instead. I’ll give the kids the money we save for a down payment on each one's first house.